Priorities are Wack

On figuring myself out.

It struck me recently that the prospect of writing a full book, let alone three books, is a monstrous task for anyone. So I’ve given up on it. There are other ways of publishing my half-assed material, and this blog is going to be one of them. What follows this post, is a series of “essays” I’ve written over the years, that deal with a multiplicity of topics. They range from relativity, to networks, to mysticism, to games, to emptiness, to creativity, among others.

I suppose that they all share a common central theme, which could be labelled as “identity”. Because that is what they are all essentially pointing towards. Who are you, behind your social labels, statuses, and wealth. This is not an easy task by any means, of trying to talk about a point of view which is basically unspeakable. But that is the mission to which all poets assign themselves to. They are trying to describe something, that cannot be described.

One thing you might come across in my “descriptions” is that I do very little editing regarding my blog posts. I think it brings more value if they are “untouched” in a way, and directly from the fingers. Freshly baked. With shit raisins. So don’t bother messaging me that I have a typo or a grammatical nightmare going on with my posts. They are like that by design. Because as a friend once said to me, we are our mistakes, in the sense that they are part of us like any other things. There is no such thing as perfection on the creative level. So to strive for it, is futile.

Now, I have some bad habits. One of them is that I can’t seem to be able to divide my day into sufficient chunks between my interests. I always seems to go overboard on one thing. And it’s all or nothing with it. So, even when I said in the first post that I am trying to study these different techs, it comes with the price of neglecting my other creative venues, foremost of which is painting.

I think that the best thing in all things considered then, is to do what I really want to do at any time, and keep the dividing to a minimum. So as of now, my two activies happens to be my two main interests, digital painting and writing. And that’s the way it should be. The more tech-savvy stuff has to be left for the sidelines, or at least to times when I don’t feel like doing the other two things.

I’m also pondering how to best deliver my ex-book stories to the blog platform. One of them actually started as an on-going story years ago, but I migrated it. And now it’s coming back home. They are still massively unfinished, so if it takes sometimes several weeks or even months to come up with new chapters, don’t be surprised. I am nothing if not a master in procrastination. But I’m making a real effort to produce something worthwhile whenever I can. Doesn’t really help that I have a bag of mental health issues keeping me in check. But it is what it is.

L.